How To Think Like a Religious Fundamentalist Tuesday, May 1, 2007Posted by henry000 in anti-creationism, anti-fundamentalism, anti-ID, atheism, Christianity, creationism, education, evolution, faith, fundamentalism, funny, God, humour, intelligent design, parody, rationality, religion, sarcasm, science.
I have just discovered this seemingly ancient, yet ageless article on how to think like a religious fundamentalist. Buried in a Web 1.0 style website, I decided to bring it to spotlight and submitted that page to Digg. Don’t you just love it when stumbling upon a germ like this?
The opening statement is great:
Planning a career in online Christian fundamentalist apologetics? How about the exciting world of Young-Earth Creationism? Witnessing to, and debating with, atheists and other hellbound unsaved sinners on the internet can be hard work, so you need to familiarise yourself with the tried and tested methods used by fundies all around the world. After completing this simple training course, the shadow of doubt will never again flicker across your mind whilst listening to the lies and deceptions of those ignorant infidels who disagree with your self-evident truths.
After all, that is what religious fundamentalism is about – being blinded by faith without any discourse to reason and rationality. This how-to “training course” then starts with what I call the Fundy Rule 1 on inerrancy:
First and foremost, the Bible is the absolute, literal word of God. Contrary to popular opinion, it contains none of the following: errors of any kind, contradictions or absurdities .
which I believe can be expanded to the Koran of Islam, as well as other holy scriptures, not just that of the Bible of Christianity.
Here comes Fundy Rule 2 which is on science:
There is but one measuring stick required to determine the truth of any claim – how it compares with Holy Scripture. More precisely, how it compares with your personal reading of Scripture. So, if some secular humanist scientists dare to dream up a theory (or “wild guess”, as it is more accurately known) that apparently conflicts with the teachings of the Bible, clearly these egg-head mad professors have made yet another idiotic mistake, possibly under demonic influence. How do we know they are mistaken? See “1 Inerrancy”.
Here comes my favourite – how to debate and reason against attacks on fundamentalist thinking. While I don’t claim myself as being particularly analytical and intelligent, and definitely not a fan on belittling people’s mistakes and intelligence – but, time and time again, we come across totally ignorant and utterly bewildering stupid arguments put forward by religious fundies. So this training course has it, with Fundy Rule 3 on how to debate like a fundy:
- Self Contradiction – the Bible stands correct at all time;
- Logic and Reason – just the playthings of the unbeliever – faith in the Lord is all that is needed;
- Burden of Proof on the Skeptic – the unbeliever claim God does not exist – ask them to disprove that;
- Repeating Yourself;
- Reply with Huge Answers;
- Grammar and Spellings – not important, as long as the Holy Spirit guides us;
- Knowledge – there is no need to know anything science offers us – all the evidence in the world is no match for a single grain of the True Faith;
- Definition of Words – the Spirit will guide us through if unbelievers say we are mistaken with words;
Furthermore, the training course provides the last of priceless rules, Fundy Rule 4 – performing mental gymnastics. Here is :
- Lying for Jesus – being economical with the truth, making up data on the spot and ignoring conflicting evidence are all handy weapons to save souls;
- Compartmentalisation – keep scriptural knowledge away from the secular knowledge that allows you to function in worldly matters;
- Wilful ignorance – Ignorance is bliss, and what is more blissful than reading the Word Of God?
Feel free to click on the Digg button below to Digg that fantastic article.